


You're Everything To Me

by DerekHaleGirl97



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Always Female Stiles Stilinski, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Beta Derek Hale, Character Death, Derek is a Good Boyfriend, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Human Stiles Stilinski, Hurt Derek Hale, Mates Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Minor Allison Argent/Isaac Lahey, Miscarriage, Past Derek Hale/Paige, Past Jennifer Blake/Derek Hale, Pregnant Stiles, Protective Derek, Sad Ending, Vampire Stiles Stilinski, Vampires, Werewolf Mates, Werewolf Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2018-09-09 19:04:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8908366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerekHaleGirl97/pseuds/DerekHaleGirl97
Summary: “Derek?” he hears her panting behind him. Her voice is hoarse, thick and shaky. She sounds real. She smells real. “Derek?”Derek doesn’t stop himself when he turns around.





	1. Chapter 1

“Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason, for anything.”   
―  **Edward Cullen** , [ **New Moon**](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3203964)

***

Derek smiles as his eyes gazed at Stiles’ face as she slept peacefully beside him. She was curled around him, legs tangled in each other’s, half her body over his, and her left hand curled over his chest. Derek couldn’t help but watch her sleep. She was just as breath-taking asleep as she was awake with her lips parted slightly, the lashes of her eyes fanned over the paleness of her cheeks, and her tangled hair spewed around because of the previous night. In fact, he was still buried in her, feeling her warm, wet walls around him as she shifts and he has to fight a moan in fear of waking her up.

He didn’t want to wake her up, didn’t want to disturb her slumber as she laid warm against him, listening as her pulse beat a steady rhythm against his chest. If he could, he would watch Stiles sleep for hours on end, just listening to her heart and the rare mutters of her sleep as she dreams. Stiles was absolutely breathtaking, and everything Derek could have ever hoped to find. He never thought he would be so lucky when he found her snooping around with her best friend on his property. Never thought that despite all the pain that occurred during his short life that he would ever find his mate in that moment when their eyes locked for the first time, and for the first time in a very, very long time, he felt whole.

Since then, everything wasn’t as easy as many people make out their romances to be. No, it was all very rocky and tense because of the looming threat of the Alpha, the Argents, and Scott being recently turned. Derek didn’t have the chance to really paint himself as a potential love interest for Stiles because of all this, so she never really trusted him as much as he could have wanted her to. Instead, it was a full of unfortunate events of mistrust, wrong timing, and having other priorities at the time. Even long after Peter was taken care of, Derek didn’t have the time because of the new threat of the Argents and the Kanima raged over town and he tried his best to be the leader he needed to be for his betas. To protect the town just like his mother had done oh, so long ago.

He didn’t count on Scott forming his own pack, however, consisting of Allison Argent (who he hardly tolerated) and his own mate (who still didn’t trust him despite having protected her from his uncle). Scott saw him as someone who lacked morals, which then caused his pack (Stiles included) to not have faith in him as his betas did. Even then, when everything came to a boiling point at the police station when Derek realized that Scott had been plotting with Gerard against him, his own Betas began to lose their faith in him. It was all too overwhelming, and Derek had then realized that maybe he wasn’t really cut out for being an Alpha.

Still, once Gerard had failed in his master plan and disappeared, Derek still had not been able to convince Stiles of his intent. She and Scott had suffered as much as he had during the turn of events; Stiles having lost her father’s trust, and Scott having lost Allison because of her betrayal to their pack. It was a mournful time indeed, so Derek decided that he can no longer involve them in his next priorities, which was to find Erica and Boyd who had disappeared right after the Argents had let them go. During the summer, he had let Stiles and Scott be, wanting them to heal and mature on their own before he can even think about involving them in the new threat that now loomed over the town once again.

When Derek saw Stiles again for the first time in months, he didn’t count on her suddenly becoming so much more beautiful than she had been before. To him, she had always been beautiful, but this summer had caused her to mature a lot since their last encounter with each other. Instead of sporting scars of the bruised cheek and torn lip that Gerard had given her, Stiles had actually healed like it had never happened. Her face lost some of its baby roundness, making her look more grown up and mature. She still wore plaid in her wardrobe but braved wearing more dresses for the late summer season, which showed off her legs very nicely. Then, the most drastic change he noticed since he laid eyes on her again, was the fact that her usual long straight hair was now shorter with layers, making her hair look wavier with natural curls.

It added to the fact that she had grown as much as Scott did, and he couldn’t help but feel even more attracted to her than he had ever been before. Still, it was all in the most inappropriate of times, and once again Derek had to ignore the fact that Stiles still didn’t see him as someone to be trusted yet as he had to deal with the Alpha pack. It hurt, yes, but he figured that as long as Stiles stayed out of the Alphas’ radar, then all his grueling efforts to stay away from her would be worth it. So, he threw himself at the next person who showed the slightest interest in him, and that had to be Stiles’ new English teacher, Jennifer Blake. What he didn’t count on was that while he had the short-lived romance with Jennifer, Stiles had become more resentful to him after she found out in the worst possible of ways.

After having been believed he was dead, Stiles marched herself into his loft to see for herself, never really believing the words of Scott any more than she had ever been before. Instead of finding Derek broken and in pain, she found him pleasuring not only himself but her own English teacher as well. Stiles had always been known with her way of words, always speaking what’s on her mind, which was something Derek always admired about her. So when she doesn’t say anything after seeing him naked with Jennifer, it immediately sends him into a panic. He knows he was doing wrong because he had basically thrown himself at Jennifer, but he had hoped that Stiles never had to find out. That plan didn’t work, and now not only does Stiles see him as someone unworthy of trust, now she’s seen him as someone unworthy of her love.

When Derek chased after Stiles the moment she left the loft, he had found out that Stiles, beneath her hard exterior that had been built over time since she was introduced into this whole mess, had actually begun to like Derek as something more than an ally. He had even found out that Stiles was coming to terms with accepting Derek as one of her friends because she too had some undeniable feelings for him, but after seeing him with Jennifer, they had extinguished the moment she realized that Derek wasn’t really truly hers. Derek knew then that he could never admit the truth of Stiles being his mate because it would only cause more damage than good at this point. He realized then that he could never have Stiles like he always wanted to because the timing was all wrong. Derek never even had the chance, so instead of fighting for what he wanted, he decided to let Stiles go because he had already hurt her enough.

It all came to a head, however, when it was revealed that Jennifer had been the one killing innocent people in ritual sacrifices and even had kidnapped Stiles’ father to commence her next set of sacrifices. Guardians. Derek didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to admit that he had once again let the wrong kind of person in his life and then turn out to be a monster in disguise. However, when he saw the tears in Stiles’ eyes as she sternly asked where her Dad was, the only person she had left to care about other than Scott, Derek knew that everything he had ever done to protect Stiles had only caused her more pain. So, in a turn of a dime, Derek went from protecting Stiles from himself to protecting her from everything that became a threat to her, including the woman he had bared himself to because she was going to make his mate an orphan if he did not stop her.

In reality, as much as Derek wanted to kill Jennifer, he couldn’t because soon he finds that she isn’t only threatening Stiles, but Scott and Allison, as well as his younger sister Cora, to whom Jennifer had poisoned with mistletoe. Despite his need to protect Stiles, he had to take care of Cora. In the moment after Jennifer escaped and had taken off with Scott’s mother, Derek ashamedly told Stiles that he had to be out of commission because of Cora’s condition. He had expected Stiles to be angry with him, to yell at him like Isaac had done about how much of a coward he was, instead the opposite had happened. Instead, Stiles only gave him a reassuring smile, telling him that it was okay because she understood that Cora needed him the most at the moment and that she was all he had left. Stiles knew, and understood, still she had put aside her own situation for him.

In that moment, Derek knew for the first time that he was in love with her. What he felt before was longing, and wishing he had the guts to tell Stiles how he felt but never had the right moment to do so. Now, he knew that he was in love with her, that he loved everything about her and how now, despite all that’s happened, she still remains selfless in her time of need. Derek then realized that he was never going to have the right time to tell her because there was never going to be a right time. So, instead of thanking her for her understanding, he showed his gratitude by placing both hands on the sides of her head and pulling her into a searing kiss, one that was long overdue and unrightfully perfect.

Derek then let her go, knowing that they all had a time-limit and despite wanting to tell Stiles how he truly felt, she had to go save her Dad, Chris, and Scott’s mom. He even told her so after kissing her one last time before rushing to get his sister to his loft before it was too late. Thankfully, soon after having to give up his Alpha spark to save his sister, the Darach was defeated and the parents were saved, and the Alpha Pack long been destroyed, things began to be at peace once more. Scott was the new Alpha of the pack and Derek felt it was the right time to take his sister back to where she belonged. Even though he had missed her and thought she was dead for the longest time, he knew Beacon wasn’t her home anymore. She belonged back in South America where she had been living with another pack since the fire, and so he took her back, knowing it would be much safer than being with him , after all, hat’s happened.

Before he left, Stiles came to him, inviting herself in because she had known Derek was leaving despite him not telling anyone where he was going, and demanded to know why he had kissed her. Derek then knew that he really didn’t have much of a choice, so he told her the truth. Everything from her being his mate and how he selfishly kept her from knowing because there had never been a right time for anything after all that’s happened. He admitted that it had been a fruitless attempt to keep her from him, and that all he ever did was hurt her instead of protecting her like he should have. That earned him a well-deserved slap in the face, but also confused him as she then pulled him into a kiss like he had done before.

Stiles then proceeded to tell him that he was being selfish, but that it didn’t matter to her anymore because she loved him. Despite everything that had ever happened between them, Stiles had found it in her heart to love him because while everyone had changed around her, he was the only one who stayed the same. Selfless and brave as she told him, and she was willing to wait as long as she could for him to be ready because like always, now wasn’t the right time to start anything. Derek was leaving and Stiles had to get her father used to all the supernatural stuff that has been going around town way longer than the town’s own existence. So, they parted ways, promising that as soon as he returned, they would give what they barely had a chance before taking things seriously.

That had been years ago, and Derek was proud to say that he and Stiles were as strong as they had ever been since then. Now, most of the pack was now attending college, barely into their second year. Stiles and Derek had moved in together in their own apartment, somewhat not far from the community college Stiles was attending after having decided that she wanted to be a cop like her old man instead of following the others to college like she had originally planned. It had been a drastic change for her because she didn’t have Scott around like she had used to, but always looked forward to the day he would come back and work at the vet clinic like he always planned to. It’s what gave Stiles enough courage to let Scott take off on his own path while she and Derek remained with the younger pack members.

Things since then have winded down for the pack, having to deal with less and less supernatural beings coming into town as often as they did in their youth. Stiles was doing exceptionally well in her classes, and Derek decided to take up a job as something for him to do while Stiles was away for the day. They easily fell into a routine, Stiles and Derek would wake up in the morning to prepare for the day, then Stiles will take off to school while Derek went to his job as the mechanic’s shop, then they would spend their evenings together, either cuddling up to a movie or just having a normal, relaxing dinner as they talk about the stress of the day. It was all Derek had ever wanted for his life, to have some normalcy for once like he had when he was growing up.

So here he was, on a Saturday morning, lying in bed with his mate as he allowed her to sleep in some after a long week of finals. Stiles snores softly against his chest as her lips lightly brush over his skin. He smiles wider, letting his fingers brush through her tangled hair gently. Without moving a muscle, Derek reaches over to his night stand, using one hand to pull open the drawer and then pulling out a velvet box that he kept buried behind his stack of books. His thumb pushes open the box, revealing a simple, yet beautifully made ring that once belonged to his mother.

He has always intended on proposing to Stiles, but never really had the guts to. When it came to Stiles, Derek was always a little insecure about the things he gives her, and he physically shakes when it comes to something like this. So, instead of just outright asking her, Derek always slips the ring on whenever he lets Stiles sleep more than usual. He just likes seeing it there, always imagining what life would be like if they were married. It was always something he likes to think about as he watches her sleep, sometimes even pretending that they were because it just warms his heart.

He slips on the ring, gently placing it on the hand that rested over his chest and places it back. Derek watches Stiles for a moment before she begins to stir, her heart picking up speed and her eyes begin to flutter open. Her tired eyes turn to Derek as he holds his breath, making her smile at his disheveled hair and she snuggles closer to him.

“Morning, Sourwolf,” Stiles says sleepily, grateful for his unnatural warmth since she can feel the cold air in the room.

“Morning, love,” Derek replies back, internally panicking as he tries to think about a way to get the ring back off before Stiles notices. This was the first time Stiles ever woke up before he could get it off.

“What time is it?” Stiles asks, stretching her arm a little before she curled it back over Derek’s chest. Something catches her eye though, making her to open her eyes more to see a ring sitting perfectly on her left hand. She frowns at him, not remembering wearing a ring last night. In fact, she’s never seen a ring like this before, and it looked oddly similar to the one her mother used to wear before she died. Then it clicks, making her turn to Derek with a brow raised.

“Der, what is this?” She shows her hand to him and she can see the tips of his ears turn red as he avoids her gaze.

“Um, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Derek lies and Stiles scoffs at him a little.

“Oh really, so you have no idea what this is, do you?” Stiles asks and Derek shakes his head.

“Nope, no clue.”

“I think you’re lying,” Stiles smirks and Derek looks nervously at her.

“What gives you the idea?”

“Because you’re a terrible liar,” Stiles states, placing her chin on his chest as she smiles at him. “And I have ways to coax you into telling the truth.”

“And they are?” Derek quirks an eyebrow at her and she smiles at him.

“Well, I could do this,” Stiles whispers, pressing her lips onto his skin, then brushes them down until they brushed over his nipple. Derek groaned, his hips making an aborted thrust upwards which made Stiles smile wide at him before using her tongue to brush over it.

“How is that supposed to make me talk?” Derek asks and Stiles gives him an innocent look.

“Fine, if you want to be stubborn about it,” Stiles warns before lowering herself farther down on the bed. Once her face was level with his torso, she began to let her tongue out and lick in between the indention of his abs. Derek moans as he feels Stiles move her tongue back down towards his navel before swirling back up again. She smiles wide as Derek tries to thrust up again, but she pushes his hips against the mattress. Derek groans, now wanting to relieve the pressure that was growing in his cock.

“Sorry, Der,” Stiles says in a sing-song voice, “But you did this to yourself.”

“Why do you torture me like this?” Derek asks, moving to look at Stiles.

“Because it’s the only way I can get anything out of you,” Stiles smirks and kisses him, “and if I have to go to such measures, then I don’t really have much choice.”

“Fine,” Derek says as he sits up in bed and Stiles follows his movements. He takes her left hand in both of his and looks her in the eye. “I’ve been meaning to ask you…but I just never found the right moment, or really knew what to say. You know I love you, Stiles. I just don’t know how I can ask you if you want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Stiles doesn’t say much, only smiles wide at him before she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. He freezes a little, but then kisses her back before she pulls far enough away from him to look him in the eyes.

“Of course I will, Derek,” Stiles breathes, smiling wide at him. “I love you, and there is nothing in this world that is ever going to make me say no.”

“Really?” Derek asks, his eyes wide and vulnerable. This caused Stiles to kiss him again, knowing that Derek wasn’t one to show his emotions as easily like he’s doing now, so she showed him by deepening the kiss. Her fingers carded through his soft black hair and she begins to situate herself in his lap by wrapping her legs around his waist. His hands run down the curve of her hips, then leaves them there as he licks against her lips, causing her to gasp as his tongue darts in to meet with hers.

“I love you, Derek,” She says against his lips, looking deep into his hazel eyes to let him see the truth in her words. “I want to spend every moment of our lives together, and I want to be yours just as much as you want to be mine.”

Derek couldn’t help but smile wide, then kisses her as much as he can. His lips then trail down to her neck, biting and licking every part of her skin until he reaches the mate mark he left on her skin since what felt like ages ago. Stiles moans, rolling her hips against his torso and feeling his cock begin to harden up. Derek smiles wide against the skin between her neck and shoulder, moving his hands even further until they cupped her cheeks. Stiles throws her head back to moan and Derek takes the opportunity to start nipping at her breast bone before he bends his head to start biting at her mounds.

Stiles was now panting, running her hands through the top of his head and gripping onto his hair. Her other hand had moved to his shoulder, slowly leaving scratch lines down his shoulder before they disappeared the second she left them. Derek looks back at Stiles’ face, eyes blown wide as he sees her moaning his name and withering above him. He then places his hands back onto her hips, lifting her up some before gently pushing her onto her back, letting his body drape over hers and keeping most of his weight off by laying on his folded arms.

He can feel Stiles’ heart racing through their chests while they were pressed against each other. Derek couldn’t help but smile fondly at her, still wondering how he ever got so lucky just to have her. Stiles was looking at him still, eyes blown as well and waiting for him to make a move. She always liked how he can get so dominant with her, yet still be so gentle and make sure she was okay with everything. Stiles uses her hands that were still wrapped around his neck to pull him back into a kiss. He moaned against her lips, feeling every tug and pull she gave against his scalp and their tongues danced in each other’s mouths.

Derek pulls back, admiring the look of her kiss swollen lips and the pink that painted her cheeks as she pants beneath him. Then he begins to kiss her jaw, peppering her skin until he reaches her earlobe and nips at it a little. He lets his lips trail back down to her neck, then to her breasts where he noses the valley between them. He continues until he comes face to face with her hips, looking up at Stiles to flash his electric blue eyes before he presses his tongue in between her nether lips. Stiles gasps as she makes adverted thrusts with her hips, trying hard to keep them from moving as Derek eats her out, feeling every pulse of pleasure every time his tongue circles around her clit.

“Derek…” Stiles moans out, arching her back as a way to keep her hips still. Soon enough, his tongue was replaced by his fingers, gently burying themselves into her folds and she cries out at the way he curls them inside. Derek moves back to her lips, kissing and biting her lower lip while his fingers thrusted into her.

“You look so beautiful like this, baby,” Derek whispers into her ear, gently taking her earlobe into his teeth.

“D-Derek,” Stiles pants, her eyes close as her hips start to roll against his hand, “p-please.”

“Please what?” He asks, slowly leaving kisses against her jawline. His own hips thrusting against her thigh.

“I need you,” She pants, letting a moan escape, “n-need you inside.”

“As you wish,” Derek doesn’t fight the smile on his face as he moves his fingers and slowly inserts himself until he bottoms out.

Stiles’ breath hitches and she opens her eyes to look into Derek’s, matching his smile as he slowly begins to rock his hips. Derek makes love to her slowly, kissing her as Stiles continues to card her fingers through his hair and their eyes remained locked with each other. He loves the way Stiles’ eyes sparkled whenever she was purely happy, especially now. Eventually, they both feel their climax begin to peak over and Derek’s thrust became sloppy as Stiles began to shout out his name. The intensity below his stomach began to build up until Derek couldn’t help but let his fangs sink into Stiles’ neck, renewing the mate mark as he comes inside her.

Stiles isn’t far behind as she screams out Derek’s name and feels herself being filled. She slumps into the mattress and Derek continues to thrust into her to ride out his high. Then, Derek eases out, panting just as hard as he looks back at Stiles, watching as a dopy smirk plays over her lips.

“Love you,” Stiles pants and Derek smiles wide. Their fingers intertwine and Derek can’t help but stare at the ring that was left on her finger.

“Love you more,” He replies, then kisses her once more.

***

“Seriously? Vampires are real?” Stiles asks from the end of the metal table.

It was Beacon Hills, of course there was going to be another supernatural event that was taking place, even now when it was during the holidays and almost all the pack members that were away in college were now home visiting. When the news broke out that the police had found bodies that were drained of blood, everyone knew that it had to of been a supernatural creature and Scott, being the almighty true Alpha that he was, had to take it upon himself and the pack to solve the case. Again.

“I honestly wouldn’t be surprised,” Isaac says from the other side of the room. “I mean, if Kanimas, were jaguars, and wendigoes were real, then vampires wouldn’t make much of a difference.”

“The question is, who do we stop them?” Scott asks, looking at the map Allison laid out where they had circled all the places the bodies were found.

“Well, I know for a fact that none of the movies about them wouldn’t be of any use to us,” Stiles states, crossing her arms over her chest. “So, maybe the Argent’s bestiary will have something in there to tell us how to kill them.”

“I’m not finding anything in here,” Allison says, shaking her head at them as she reads over the printed copy her father gave her. “There’s nothing in here that says anything about vampires. Maybe my Dad will know something?”

Scott nods, “Yeah, go ahead and ask him as soon as possible. We’re going to go out in the Preserve tonight to see if we can find anything.”

“Wouldn’t it be a little dangerous just to go out there blindly?” Derek asks, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he looks at the map. “I mean, even I didn’t know they existed until now. Maybe it’s not a good idea to be going out there at night without having any idea how to protect ourselves. If any of the legends are true, then maybe we shouldn’t be going in with just our strength alone.”

“Derek’s right,” Stiles says to Scott, “maybe we shouldn’t be going until we at least get some idea on what they are actually like.”

“I know going out there is a bit risky,” Scott agrees, “but they are killing innocent people out there, and I can’t just stand by when I know I can do something about it.”

“But it won’t do anyone any good if you end up getting killed because you weren’t prepared,” Stiles argues, “so why not just wait a little longer to ask Deaton or Chris if they have heard of something like this, or at least give us some idea what we’re up against before we do something stupid?”

“You’re right,” Scott sighs and nods. “Hopefully by then we’ll at least get some of the basics ready and figure out how to stop them.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Isaac nods and everyone seems to agree.

The pack disperses then, going their separate ways to find the answers they needed while Stiles goes to her board and starts writing down the well known facts. Scott and his beta, Liam, go to Deaton’s clinic to see if he knows anything about vampires. Allison and Isaac go to her father’s place to see if maybe he too may know something. Lydia and Kira stay behind, taking over Allison’s job in looking through the bestiary. It may have been Allison’s family copy, but Lydia was better at reading Archaic Latin than Allison was.  Stiles had barely written down the word ‘vampire’ before she takes notice of Derek’s tense form through the glass of her board. She puts the marker away before she goes to his side and placing her hand over his stiff shoulder.

“Der, are you okay?” Stiles asks him quietly, keeping her voice low enough for only him to hear. Derek turns to her, eyes snapping to hers to see the curious, yet concerned glance of her eyes. He sighs, ignoring the strange turn of his stomach as he faces her.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” Derek says, short and curt. Stiles knew him well enough to know that when he uses a six-word sentence, then that would usually mean he’s either angry or really worried. She’s leaning towards worry at this point.

“I know you’re worried about the whole vampire thing, but we’re not going to do anything until Scott or Allison come back with a sure way to beat them. So, please don’t worry yourself about it until then, okay?” Stiles pleads with Derek and he sighs heavily.

“I’m not worried about that,” Derek says honestly, “I’m just more worried about you…”

Stiles’ eyes seem to soften at that, making her smile at him before placing her hand on his cheek. Derek places his hand over hers as he leans into her touch.

“Der, nothing is going to happen to me,” Stiles says firmly. Despite not knowing that her being hurt was really a possibility, she had to assure him some way in order for him not to stress himself out about it again. “I’m going to be fine.”

“But what about…?” His eyes drift down towards Stiles’ torso, her skin hidden from him by the layers of clothing she had on.

Stiles smiles wide, then takes his other hand into hers and places it over her stomach, “ _We’re_ going to be fine, Derek. Please, just don’t worry too much about us. We already talked about having me hang back while you and the others go deal with those vampires.”

“I know,” Derek sighs, then pulls Stiles into his arms and presses his lips against her forehead. “You know how I get sometimes.”

“Of course I do,” Stiles says, snuggling into his chest. “I worry about you just as much. Once this is all over, we are going to enjoy the rest of the holidays and tell everyone about our surprise.”

Derek smiles wide, then kisses the top of her head, “I can’t wait.”

***

Beacon Hills in the dead of winter looks completely different than any other season of the year. Snow blankets the entire Preserve in a sheet of ice water. To add ominous effect, the trees were made bare and thin, looking much rather dead and creepy, especially when it was the dead of night. The pack is at the edge of the forest, waiting by their cars for the rest of the members to arrive before they begin their search. Scott and Allison actually found some information from Deaton and Chris, having been informed that even though vampires don’t react to things like holy water or crosses, they do react to silver, roses, and (surprisingly) wolfsbane.

Once that information was gathered, the pack gathered up as much roses as they possibly can while Stiles, Lydia, and Allison began work crushing the dried plants together and smothering them over the silver knives Allison provided. They even laced them in some of the arrows as an added measure, then packed for the night everything they could possibly need against a potential attack from the vampires.

Right now, it was just Scott, Stiles and Derek waiting outside the Preserve while the others showed up. Scott was leaning against Stiles’ jeep, Stiles sat on top of the jeep’s hood, wrapped in a thick blanket because unlike her best friend and fiancée, she wasn’t as immune to the cold as they were, so she brought the blanket because she hated being cold. As an added measure, Stiles had her arms wrapped loosely around Derek’s neck and rested her cheek against his shoulder as she took in his heat. She very much loves the fact that her fiancée was a werewolf, though ask her in the summer and she’ll say otherwise.

“Are they almost here yet?” Derek asks Scott, hating how he has to wait out here. Since this whole situation with the vampires has come about, Derek had been very tense about the whole thing. All he wants is to get this over with, then go back home with Stiles so he can…well… ya know…

“They should be here in a minute,” Scott informs him, looking at his phone once again.

Derek just sighs and Stiles presses a kiss on the back of his neck.

“Have patience, Sourwolf. They’ll be here soon,” Stiles tells him, her voice muffled by his thick jacket.

“You’re telling me about patience?” Derek quirks an eyebrow at her and he feels her giggle against his back.

“You made me wait until I was eighteen to have sex with you,” Stiles points out matter of fact, “I think you waiting a few hours won’t kill you.”

“Stiles, please don’t talk about what you and Derek do in your bedroom like it’s normal conversation,” Scott pleads with her, giving them both a grossed out, look. “I do not want to have images of my best friend and beta be at it like rabbits.”

“Then stop listening,” Stiles teases back, giving him a cheeky smirk.

“I can’t when you’re being so loud about it,” Scott shots back and then suddenly he has a snowball thrown at his face.

“This is war, McCall!” Stiles shouts out, gathering the snow that has collected over the jeep in her hands to make another snowball. “Prepare to eat snow!”

“I’m getting married to a child,” Derek mutters, but looks at Stiles fondly.

“Sorry, Der,” Stiles giggles and tightens her arms around his neck and wraps her legs around his hips. “But you’re stuck with me until the day you die!”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Derek smiles wide, then turns his head back to kiss her. Scott makes a gagging noise and Stiles sticks her tongue out at him. Derek chuckles fondly at them, wondering how he even came across these two in the first place.

Soon enough, the others came and Allison had brought all the weapons her father was willing to lend them. All the humans and banshee were equipped with crossbows, and the wolves were given knives if the time came for drastic measures. Scott lead the way, adorned with a flashlight, while the others followed closely behind. Derek kept back with the humans, keeping as much of a close eye on Stiles as he does to his surroundings.

Of course Derek knew Stiles could take care of herself, she was trained by Allison and Chris on how to use a crossbow in case there came a time where even Derek couldn’t be around to protect her. Stiles was more than capable of taking down a werewolf, even has done so many times than Derek would like to admit. Still, it was a part of his instincts to want to protect his mate, and Stiles couldn’t really deny him that. Especially now when it was becoming more obvious that she was showing. Even her slightly tight sweater she was wearing doesn’t hide the fact that her torso has become tender. Thankfully, no one else has taken notice until they can surprise them at the Christmas party Stiles’ Dad was holding at the Stilinski Residence.

They hiked through the preserve, looking for any sign that the vampires had been here or have moved on. It had taken them more than an hour until Scott felt that they trekked far enough before deciding it was probably time for them to return home.

“Come on guys, it’s time for us to head back,” Scott tells the others, hearing some of them sigh in relief. Stiles especially because all the walking had gotten to her feet and they were begging her to take a break. Derek took note in Stiles’ exhausted demeanor before bringing her into his side with one arm. Stiles gave him a reassuring smile before kissing his cheek and following the others as they made their way back to their vehicles.

“Not so fast,” An eerily voice says, making all of them freeze. The wolves snap out, circling around the humans and banshee as these tall pale figures appear right before their eyes. They all looked similar, ash pale skin, bruised under eye, and somewhat glowing eyes.

“Where are you all in such a hurry for?” One of them says, the same voice that called out to them before. “Don’t you want to play with us?”

“Actually, no,” Scott says, stepping forward and flashing his red eyes to show the vampires that he was the Alpha. “What we really want to know is why you’re attacking people in this town?”

“Our apologies,” The vampire, their leader no doubt, purrs out. “We were just passing through. We honestly didn’t think this territory was claimed by a pack of werewolves.”

“Well, it is,” Scott says sternly. “And we want you to stop killing people. Leave right now and there won’t be any more trouble.”

“Oh, we’ll leave,” The vampire says, licking his lips as he eyes Allison and Stiles. “If we can have at least one of those humans back there.”

Isaac and Derek growl harshly, standing close to their mates and snapping their teeth.

“No, they’re a part of the pack and definitely off limits,” Scott warns them.

“Oh, and I was really looking forward to having that one,” He points at Stiles, making her tense and hold up her crossbow at him. “She looks awfully like an old love I used to have. How funny I meet her doppelganger in this very town.”

Derek snarls out, “Well, she’s mine and you can’t have her.”.

“Pity, and I asked so nicely too,” the vamp says smoothly. “I guess now I have to take her by force,” he turns to the others in his group. “Kill them all, but save that one for me,” he points to Stiles and it all turns into an all-out war.

The vampires and the pack clash, fights break out and the cold air is filled with loud snarls and growls. The werewolves shift into their beta forms, claws and fangs snapped out and slice into ash-pale flesh. Kira deflects one of the vampire’s blows with her sword, shouting out as she slices through it and moves onto another one. Lydia is holding her own, giving up on the crossbow and settling on using her screams to knock a couple off their feet before Liam finishes them off. Allison and Stiles easily take out one vampire at a time with the crossbows, Allison being a much better shot than Stiles.

Through all the chaos, Derek keeps an eye on Stiles, making sure she wasn’t taking on much more than she could handle. In his distraction, the vampire he was fighting, a thickly build male with golden brown locks, tackles Derek to the floor. Derek struggles to fight him off, having been put in a position where he couldn’t easily push the vampire off. While Derek was busy fighting with what was apparently the strongest of them all, the leader goes to Stiles in supernatural speed, surprising her from behind as he knocks the crossbow from her hands and wraps his around her throat. He smiles wide as Stiles’ freezes in his grasp, her whole body goes rigid as he tightens his hold on her neck.

“My dear, why do you run with werewolves? Such volatile creatures, don’t you think?” He asks smoothly, making Stiles cringe as his lips brushed her ear.

“Like you’re any better,” She snaps out, struggling to get free from his hold, but like wolves, vampires are just as strong. Apparently.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take you far from this pathetic town and you’ll be all mine,” The vampire purrs as Stiles reaches for the knife she had tucked underneath her belt.

“Sorry, but I’m kind of engaged to one of those werewolves, and their mate too. So, seriously not interested,” Stiles greets out, then pulls the knife and stabs the vampire in his side. He hisses in pain, wrenching away from Stiles as the rose burns away his skin. He stares at her incredulously as she gets into a fighting stance, the blade held tightly in her hands.

“You’re a clever one, aren’t you?” He asks, forming a wicked smile as he stares at her. “Emma used to be just as clever.”

“Too bad I’m not her,” Stiles spits out. “So why don’t you leave me the fuck alone and die already!”

“Darling, I’m already dead,” He says, fangs poking out as his eyes turn blood red and he runs at Stiles, knocking the knife out of her hands and pinning her to his body. Stiles screams, struggling in his hold as he tightens his grip on her. The vampire bites into his wrist, then forces it over Stiles’ mouth. Stiles tries to keep her lips locked, but he uses his hand to pinch her nose closed, holding it until Stiles quickly loses her breath and opens her mouth to gasp in air, but immediately the vampire’s wrist was forced into her mouth.

Stiles cries out a muffled scream and she can taste some of his blood as it seeps down her throat. The vampire then removes his hand, watching with eagerness as some of his blood escapes between Stiles’ lip. She groans out as some of it goes down her throat, her eyes glaze over with tears after having been forced not to take in oxygen.

“Derek!” She suddenly screams out, making the vampire stare at her in confusion before he hears a roar behind them. He turns around to see Derek snarling at him animalistic like. His eyes glowing a bright electric blue, filled with hate, and long fangs bared at him as he roars again.

“Get. Away. From. Her.” Derek says, his voice distorted by the wolf inside him. He watches as the vampire merely chuckles before his hand curls around Stiles’ throat.

“So you’re the one she’s mated to? Not very impressed, honestly,” The vampire says, smiling wickedly as his other hand brushes through Stiles’ hair. Derek growls even more. “I wonder what you’re going to do if I do this-,” In a swift movement, the vampire places both hands on Stiles’ head and snaps her neck, the bone breaking echoes throughout the small clearing.

“NO!” Derek cries out, his blue eyes flash back to hazel as he watches the vampire drop Stiles’ body to the floor. She falls with a loud thud, face half buried in the snow and her eyes were wide open and lifeless.

“No, no, no, no!” Derek falls to his knees and crawls to her side, gathering Stiles in his arms and gently shakes her. “No! Stiles, please wake up, please!”

The vampire chuckles behind Derek as he watches him try and shake Stiles awake. Derek fights the sob as he holds Stiles close to his chest, staring into her eyes while he gently strokes her cheek as tears glaze his own.

“Baby, baby, please…” Derek begs, brushing his fingers through her hair as the tears begin to leak from his eyes. “No, please, please no.” Derek begins to physically shake as he sees nothing, no spark or glimmer of happiness, in her eyes. “No. No. Not you, too. Please not you, too. Anyone but you, Stiles, please, please.” He buries his face into Stiles’ neck, trying to feel her warmth, hoping he could still feel her pulse, but nothing. “Stiles, no. Please, no… Don’t leave me alone again.”

“Such a shame,” The vampire laughs at Derek as he sobs into Stiles’ neck. “Anyone should know falling for a human is never going to end well.”

Derek doesn’t hear him. Doesn’t hear anything but his own sobs and the silence of Stiles’ heart. He holds her tight to his chest, wishing that this was all just another nightmare and that he would wake up and find Stiles perfectly fine right next to him.

“Oh well, you’re going to join her soon enough,” The vampire says, raising his own clawed hand over Derek. Before he can give the killing blow, an arrow flies into his chest, piercing his heart with a rose laced arrow head. He stops, looking up to see Allison aiming a crossbow at him. She already has another arrow set, aimed right at his head before shooting it and hitting him square in the eye. The vampire falls backwards, now dead and lifeless as his body crumbles away into dust.

He was the last one, having been too occupied with Derek and Stiles to take notice that his whole coven was now nothing but dust. The whole pack was scattered in the clearing, most having been wounded, some worse than others, but they were already healing. Once they noticed that something was wrong with Stiles, they all tried to come near, but Lydia had stopped them, giving them a grim look as she kept them away from Derek. She had felt Stiles as she died, and she knew that Derek would be the one the most effected, thus needing the space from the pack as he and his wolf mourned.

Derek moves his face out of Stiles’ neck, then shoves hers into his own, rocking his body back and forth as he cries. “Stiles, Stiles, Stiles please wake up. Please, please, please.” He presses his lips against her hair, “Please, don’t leave me, please. You’re everything to me, Stiles, everything. We were-we were going to get married, and you were going to wear this beautiful dress your Mom wore, and everything was going to be perfect.” Derek whines as his hand drifts to her stomach, and his tears come rushing out. “We were going to tell the pack about…about…” He sobs and pulls Stiles even closer, tears blurring his vision. “Stiles…Stiles…Stiles, please…no….”

The pack remained silent. Their own tears drift down their faces as they watch the strongest member of their pack slowly crumble into nothing. They all felt Derek’s pain, feeling his agony, his loneliness, and his broken heart. If it hurt them enough for it to be physical, then it must have been a hundred times worse for Derek. Allison was leaning against Isaac, tears streaking her own face, despite the fact that she doesn’t feel Derek’s pain, she cared enough about Stiles to cry. She and Stiles were close friends, close enough that she would have called Stiles her best friend if she didn’t already have Lydia or that Stiles didn’t already had Scott.

Scott, on the other hand was much worse than any of them because Stiles was his _sister_. His best friend since the third grade, his confidant, his wing-girl, his shoulder to cry on whenever he needed it. No one, not even Allison, knew him better like Stiles did. He even knew about Stiles before they could tell anyone else, because it wouldn’t be right if he found out like everyone else did. And seeing his best friend lay lifeless in her mate’s arms, seeing Derek having to live through another death, it was agonizing. He too was on the ground, kneeling before them as he felt the pain of losing a pack member and slowly losing another one. Lydia stood behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

They all stood still while Derek broke down. It felt like hours while they waited, then Lydia came up to Derek, kneeling beside him as one of her hands move over and close Stiles’ eyes, hiding their lifelessness from everyone as she tries to get Derek to move.

“Derek…” Lydia says, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Derek… we have to take her to Deaton’s.”

“N-No! Stiles is going to wake up,” Derek says in denial, his voice broken in whisper. “She-She is going to wake up any second now. She’s going to be f-fine. The-the baby is going to be fine. St-Stiles is always fine. She-she’s always fine…”

“Derek,” Lydia says sternly, fighting to keep her face blank as she sees Derek crumble into pieces. “Derek, Stiles is gone.”

“No, no, no!” Derek shakes his head and crushes Stiles to him. “No, she can’t be gone… She was all the family I had left…they both were…”

“I know, Derek,” Lydia felt her own tears fall as she watches him try and hold on. To hug Stiles back to life, but nothing anyone will ever do will bring her back. “But we have to take her to Deaton… We have to.”

Derek just shakes his head, no longer looking at Lydia as he bows his head over Stiles. His shoulders slumped as another sob escapes his lips. He refuses to believe that Stiles was really gone. Refuses to admit that like everything else he loves in this world, he lost her as well. No, Stiles couldn’t be gone. If he lost her, then his whole being will fall apart. This has to be a dream. The worst nightmare his own subconscious mind has made up to torture him again. It can’t be real.

Yet, as time goes on, as the pain consumes him and tears apart his soul into tiny pieces, it has never felt more real since the moment he felt his whole family die.

But it _was_ real.

And _she was **gone**_.

***

Stiles was laid flat on the hard metal table, arms pressed to her side and her once wavy curls were flat and brushed out of her face. Derek was not far from her, watching her with broken, detached eyes. He had been standing there since the pack brought them in and he had been the one to place her on the table. He could hardly believe that this was happening, that this was his reality now. Derek has never felt so alone since Laura died, but this loneliness wasn’t just weighing on him. It was dragging him down to the deepest depths of the ocean, drowning him in sorrow and agony until he was numb to everything.

Right now, he felt nothing. He can’t remember the happiness he felt this morning, or when he was with Stiles at the jeep. He doesn’t remember feeling anything else besides what he felt now, which was nothing. He can’t feel love because his died with her. He can’t feel happiness because that died along with his unborn child. He can’t even feel sadness because he knows what that feels like, he’s felt it so many times before and what he was feeling wasn’t anything he’s ever felt before. What he feels is mind numbing, eating away at what was left of the man who has lost so much. Who had almost nothing left but a hyperactive girl who once held his heart with care and compassion.

A girl who was nothing like Kate or Jennifer. A girl who almost reminded him of Paige, but was something else entirely. Who has seen him through the worst of times, through the best of times, and through everything that would make others turn away. Stiles was his whole world, his everything. Now that she’s gone, he really has nothing left.

What does he have to live for now? A psychotic uncle who’s locked away in Eichen House? A pack that’s not even his own? The ashes of his youth that was burned away by a single match? He has nothing. Always have, and always will have nothing. Just when he thought that he was ready to put the past behind him, ready to start a new life with the woman he loved the most, ready to start a family like he had always wanted, this world decided that he wasn’t good enough for that. He wasn’t good enough for Stiles or for the child she was carrying. It took them away from him and left him broken and on his knees once more. _Derek Hale doesn’t deserve nice things_ , he hears them say, _he deserves nothing at all_.

Derek just closes his eyes, forcing himself to look away because it was just too much. He can hear the pack’s heartbeats from the waiting room. All of them listening as Deaton gave them an assessment of what he found. They haven’t called the Sheriff yet.

_“Son, call me Noah. Sheriff is too formal for you, and it makes me feel too old.” He hears the Sheriff say._

_“Dad, you’re freaking him out,” Stiles replies, he can practically see her rolling her eyes._

_“Nonsense, Derek is part of the family now. The least he can do is act like he is.”_

They didn’t want to tell him about Stiles yet. Didn’t want to tell him that his only family, his only daughter, was dead. No, not yet. Let him have some semi-happiness first before his whole world shatters too.

_“I don’t want to lose my Dad too,” Stiles says to him, her voice soft and timid. “I don’t want to lose both my parents.”_

Deaton tells them that Stiles had consumed something, something that was still in her mouth before she died. It looked like blood, but if it was vampire blood, then it didn’t reach her veins. The vampire had killed her too soon.

Derek should be angry, but he honestly doesn’t have the energy to. He’s too drained to feel anything else. He was empty.

_“I love you, Derek,” Stiles whispers to him._

“I love you, too, Stiles,” Derek mouths, not making a sound. His eyes gaze at Stiles’ body again. “You’re everything to me…everything…”

He leans down, pressing a kiss on her forehead, his hand brushes through her hair one last time before they reach down and slip the ring off her cold hand. They look so empty without it. He straightens up again, ring heavy in his hand as he moves to join the others in the waiting room. He doesn’t look back. Doesn’t want her laying on a cold hard table to be the last thing he remembers. Just as he gets to the door, a small thump makes him stop.

He freezes, thinking maybe he was just hearing things. He couldn’t have heard it. As much as he wishes to, he doesn’t believe it. When he hears another thump, he begins to think he has just lost his mind. Like Peter when he woke up from the coma. Maybe much worse.

Derek turns around, eyes staring at Stiles’ lifeless form, waiting for her to do something. To confirm that he wasn’t really going insane. She doesn’t do anything. He had left himself hope again. Hoping meant believing. Meant wanting something you can’t have and he allowed himself to do that. He really shouldn’t have because it hurt just as much as it did when he realized Stiles was gone. He really should stop at this point. He really wants to let his wolf take over, let him forget the pain.

Derek turns away again, moving to leave again. Before he even makes it out of the door, someone gasps for air behind him. He is frozen again, hearing the person gasping and greedily sucking in air. He doesn’t turn around. Derek is insane now. He’s just hearing things. They aren’t real.

“Derek?” he hears her panting behind him. Her voice is hoarse, thick and shaky. She sounds real. She smells real. “Derek?”

Derek doesn’t stop himself when he turns around.


	2. You Were Everything

Water rushed below the bridge, a soft trickle through the rocks below eased some of the tension in Stiles’ shoulders. She always did like this place. Loved coming here with her Mom when she was a little kid. Her Mom always said that this place was magical, that if she wished hard enough, she would get whatever her heart most desired.

As Stiles twirls the lapis lazuli ring on her finger, she wished some of that was true. That all the nonsense about making wishes was true because she really wanted some of her old wishes to come true. She wished that her Mom would get better, but of course, that didn’t happen. She wished that she and her Dad would get closer, but she’s never felt more disconnected with him than ever before. She had wished she and Scott would be best friends for life, but he’s too occupied with Kira. She wished she would stay human, but she’s a bloodsucking vampire now.

Stiles absentmindedly rubs her stomach, remembering that night well. Of all the possible ways she could have died, it had to be a snapped neck. Stiles wasn’t a martyr, all she wanted was to keep herself safe, just this once. And it wasn’t even her own life she wanted to protect. She had something growing inside of her, something precious that she knew would bring the pack closer together. That would have made Derek so happy for once in his life. He was going to have a new family, a little bean that was going to be the beginning of the Hale’s revival… Then some vampire bastard had to take all that away.

Not only did she lose her bean, but she also lost the ability to ever give Derek the family he always wanted. Apparently, vampires can’t procreate. They become sterile the moment they turn, and there’s really no going back at this point. Yes, she did ask Deaton if there was a way to reverse it, but he said that there was no possible way unless she’d rather be dead again… Maybe she does, now.

It hasn’t been easy, waking up as a vampire. The bloodlust was so overwhelming, it didn’t help with the fact that her emotions had been heightened as well. So, Stiles had begun to bawl the moment she realized what she had become. Then she started sobbing once she realized that she didn’t have her bean anymore. It was all so much. So much pain, and sorrow. So much agony. Stiles couldn’t take it.

That’s another thing she learned about vampires, they had the ability to switch off their humanity. Stiles didn’t realize it at the time, she didn’t even know what she had done before it was too late. One moment she was feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders, threatening to bring her down into the darkest depths of hell. The next, she didn’t feel anything. No pain, no agony, nothing to ever suggest she was sad at all. Her change of mood definitely freaked everyone out, even Derek who must have been keeping tabs on her emotions. Did she care? Nope. She wasn’t happy about it… she wasn’t anything really. It just felt so good to be relieved of all her burden before she got a taste of blood.

Things happened after that, things Stiles is not proud of. Let’s just say that she became Kate Argent and went bat-shit crazy over the town. She didn’t have her human emotions, so why would she care if people were hurt or killed? That’s what scared her the most. That being a vampire would bring the worst of her to the surface. It was like the Nogitsune all over again, only this time, this was all her. She wasn’t possessed by an evil fox spirit, that was her being the monster she always knew was lurking under her once fragile human skin. It just needed the perfect outlet to be set free.

We always knew you were Dark, Stiles…

Stiles tenses again, hearing the Nogitsune’s voice echo in the back of her mind. Before, she always managed to ignore it. Even though it was long gone, she could still hear him. Taunting her, making her doubt her abilities, but she had always pushed it back. Ignored it and pretend it wasn’t there. It was just a figment of her imagination. The PTSD that will always stay with her, no matter what species she was. However, since becoming a vampire, she isn’t able to ignore it anymore. It’s like he’s right there, whispering in her ear, tormenting her with that stupid riddle over and over again.

Everyone has it, but no one can lose it. What is it, Stiles?

A shadow.

What is it, Stiles?

A shadow!

What is it!

I don’t know!

Stiles doesn’t realize she’s gripping the wood of the railing until it literally comes apart in her hands. She stares down at it in shock, watching as the little splinters of wood fall from her perfectly smooth hand. She won’t ever get used to having super strength. Sometimes, she even misses slamming her hand against the hood of the jeep just so she could feel the numbing pain for a second before Derek seeps it away. She can feel pain in other ways, but it’s not the same.

Nothing is the same.

She’s not human. The pack won’t look her in the eye anymore. Her Dad is hesitant to be around her because of what she is. Scott tries, but she’d be stupid to not notice the rift that was forming between them. Even Derek is afraid of her, of all people. She’d think the only person he would ever really be afraid of would be the person who ruined his life, but seeing Stiles basically turned into that person only puts salt in the wound.

Stiles twirls the ring in her hand again. Her only protection from the sun. Deaton gave it to her after she got some of her shit together. Saying that if she was going to spend eternity as a vampire, might as well obtain some humanity by acting like one. Stiles doesn’t think she’ll have eternity.

She should just end it right now. Take off the ring and turn into ashes. It would be so easy. The sun is already at high noon. No one was there to stop her. Why would they care anyway? She already proved to them that she was a monster. Peter was a monster and he died. So, did the Kanima. And Jennifer. And Kate. And the Dread Doctors. And the Beast. And Theo. All of them were monsters, all of them died. What would make her any different? Sure, the first time around it wasn’t really her doing it, but now? What was her excuse?

Sorry I almost destroyed the town, guys. I accidentally switched off my humanity because I had a miscarriage while transforming into a vampire and now I killed a whole bunch of people because of it?

Yeah, like that did her any good with the pack.

Stiles stares at the ring, slowing pulling it off her ring finger.

“Stiles, what are you doing?”

Pushing the ring back on, Stiles turns around to see Derek standing at one end of the bridge. He looked tired and disgruntled. A line was etched between his brows, staring at her intently. Stiles twitched under his scrutiny, feeling like he was staring right into her soul if she even had one anymore. Then, his eyes widen in realization, eyebrows rising up before coming down and knitting together.

“You were planning on taking it off, weren’t you?” Derek continued to stare while Stiles bit her lip and stared at her hands.

“No, I wasn’t.” Stiles lies easily. No heartbeat, no supernatural lie detectors.

“Tell me the truth, Stiles.”

“I wasn’t,” She protests, but it was clear that he wasn’t buying it.

“Stop lying to me.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Yes, you are!”

“I’m not getting into another fight, Derek.” Stiles shakes her head, turning away from him and back to the water below the bridge. “Please, just leave me alone.”

There was a sharp intake of breath, then a long exhale.

“You can’t just quit like this, Stiles.”

“And why the hell not?” Stiles was facing him again, her eyes narrowed as she fought back tears. “It would make it easier on everyone.”

“Are you honestly that stupid?” Derek crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at her. “Do you honestly believe that the pack is going to be glad you’re gone?”

“After what I’ve done, I don’t see why I’m not ashes yet.” Stiles turns away from him again. “I don’t even know why I ever came back in the first place.”

“Do you…” There was a pause. The air, which was already heavy with sadness, soured, even more, when the intoxicating scent of woods turned into something else. “Do you regret loving me?”

Stiles turns around again. The look on his face made Stiles’ dead heart fall even further into a dark pit in her stomach. Sadness had clouded his features and tears shone in his eyes.

“No… No, I don’t regret anything with you.”

“So why are you so determined to leave me again?” His voice was tight as he pinned her with his gaze.

“I’m not good for you, Derek,” Stiles trembled. “I hurt you, even when I didn’t mean to.”

“Is that it? Is being alive that bad, Stiles?”

“Yes!” Her voice cracked and tears flooded her eyes as she thought back to all the bad things that had happened to her since she woke up in Deaton’s clinic. “I killed people, Derek! Innocent people. I even hurt my own Dad because he tried to stop me! I’m a monster. A vampire that’s forced to feed off humans. I can’t give you the things you want. Hell, one day you’ll die of old age and I’m still going to be a twenty-year-old for the rest of eternity!”

Derek doesn’t respond. He just sets his jaw.

“You know what the worst thing about all of this?” Stiles asks rhetorically. “I can’t even recognize myself anymore. The person you fell in love with died that night when I turned. I’m not the same anymore. I’m not right… I’m not even human anymore…”

“Do you love me, Stiles?” Derek questions.

“I…” She chokes up. Unable to respond. She does love Derek, that’s one of the few things that she still knows. That she will always love Derek, no matter what.

“Do you have any idea what it felt like when I thought I lost you?”

“Derek, you did lose me. I actually died.” Stiles tried to argue.

“Yes, you did.” Derek tenses his shoulders. “You died, and I had to watch you die right in front of me. I watched how he snapped your neck, how your eyes stayed wide open as your heart stopped beating. I held you in my arms, begging you to come back. Denying the fact that you were gone because I could never live in a world where you don’t exist.”

Stiles stares at him.

“You were my entire world, Stiles.” A tear fell over his cheek. “You were it for me. I knew for a long time that the only thing in this world that I needed was you. Being loved by you and loving you was the best thing in the world. I loved every moment of it. When I found out you were pregnant, I thought things couldn’t get any better. I wanted everything with you. I wanted to marry you, start a family, and live the rest of our lives in peace. Raise our kids like my Mom had raised me and my sisters. I wanted all of that with you.

“Then…” Derek bit his lip hard to keep it from trembling. “Then I lost you, and my whole world completely shattered. All those hopes and dreams died the moment you stopped living. You have no idea how much I wanted to die then. What was the point of going on? You no longer existed. I didn’t want to go back to the person I was when we first met. So full of anger and self-hatred. I didn’t want to be alone again… And then you came back…”

Derek gives Stiles a watery smile. “You came back to me, and for a moment I thought I could have that again. But, when Deaton said that it was impossible, I knew then I could never have that. I knew I could never have a family, kids of my own. And you know what? It doesn’t matter to me anymore. I don’t care if we ever have kids anymore. None of that even matters because at least I still have you. You’re worth more than anything I could ever offer, Stiles. I have been lucky enough to have met you. It was a miracle that you even loved someone like me, a burnt-up shell of the person I used to be. You took me and made me a better person. You make up all the good things about me.

“And to have the remote chance of having a family? That was something out of my wildest dreams. I always knew it was too good to be true. How could someone like you ever love someone like me? How could you, the most beautiful soul in the world, make me a better man? I love you, Stiles. I love how you’ve changed my world. You made it bright again. You made me hope again, and that’s something I haven’t felt in a long time. You helped me get over my family’s death, helped me cherish their memory, and made it impossible to ever take the blame for what happened. You are worth so much to me, Stiles. I would trade having a family for you any day.”

Derek comes closer, placing his hands on her face and using his thumb to caress her cheek. She hadn’t realized she was crying until Derek had wiped away a line of tears.

“I love you, Miecyzslawa Stilinski.” Derek stares into her eyes, pronouncing her name with ease. “I would give my own life just to have you. To love you with everything that I am. Please, please don’t take yourself from me again. I honestly have no idea how I could ever live without you or your love. You have no idea how much I wished you didn’t have to suffer. I wished I wasn’t so selfish as to make you be here when you don’t want to. But I am. I am the most selfish person to ask you to stay because I need you. Please, don’t make me live without you.”

With that, he presses his lips against hers. For the first time since when she first woke up in the clinic. A wave of emotions came crashing through Stiles as Derek kisses her. She could feel not only her emotions but his as well. The kiss was so full of want and need like he needed her kiss more than he needed air. She remembers that feeling. The need to taste him, to drink him in until there was nothing left. It all comes rushing back to her and she remembers why she had loved him in the first place.

She always knew Derek had a soft since from the moment they met. She would always see it whenever he would smile. He always ducked away, hiding the smile so no one else could see, but she noticed it. In those small moments, Stiles always saw someone who was hiding behind anger to guard him from being hurt again. She had wanted to coax that part of Derek out, show him that love does exist in the world and that he should never be afraid to hide his true self. She wanted more than anything was to see Derek smile, not in the way he usually would, actually showing his smile to the world and being happy about it. That’s all she ever wanted.

Along the way, she must have forgotten how much he’d changed. Forgotten the way his smile would cause her heart to race and seeing him happy was the greatest feeling she could ever have. She had hurt him by forgetting, yet despite it all, he was still here. Fighting for her like he had done with the Nogitsune, like with Theo. He was fighting, not because he had to. But, because he loved her. Loved her, despite everything, despite her being a vampire. It only took her until now to realize that he would never stop loving her, even if they weren’t together anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Stiles breathed, voice and lips trembling against Derek’s. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know, baby.” Derek rests his forehead against hers. “I know.”

“But, I can’t help the way I feel.” She still feels so guilty. People are dead because of her.

“I know, love.” Derek presses a gentle kiss on her forehead. “It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to take a while until things start feeling normal again. But, as long as you’re willing to stay with me, I’m sure we’ll get through it somehow.”

“You won’t leave me?” Stiles squeezes his hand that’s still on her cheek.

“Never.” He places another kiss on her hand.

“I love you, Derek.”

A small smile breaks over his face and Stiles feels her heart stutter for the first time in what feels like a lifetime.

“I love you, too.”

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Unofficial Sound Track
> 
> Heart Like Yours by Willamette Stone   
> -Derek watching Stiles while she sleeps.
> 
> It Will Rain by Bruno Mars  
> -Stiles reassuring Derek that she will be fine.
> 
> I Found by Amber Run  
> -Derek begging Stiles not to leave him after she dies.
> 
> Run To You by Pentatonix  
> -Derek staring at Stiles' body in the clinic.


End file.
